Typically speaking, we look at January 1st with a lot of new promise. We say goodbye to the year past and embrace what lies ahead. 365 days worth of opportunity, of anticipation, of things yet to unfold.
Some of us do that with excitement, some with relief - only so ready to leave 2024 in the rearview mirror - and others with apprehension. We make resolutions, goals, seek out a word for the year and in some cases, pray and fast. And while there are many jokes about how long this January has felt, if I'm honest for me, I haven't felt that transition mark from one year - January 2025 has been a continuation of the rollercoaster that was 2024.
The new year rang in while I lay prone on the couch in the midst of the nasty flu/cold that knocked me on my behind just a few days prior. There was no holiday magic or excitement to be had. Just me, my tea, and box of kleenex moving from the bed to the couch and back to the bed. Binge watching both seasons of Lioness (which is amazing by the way- from what I can remember). Not exactly the restful, rejuvenating break I had planned. I entered the new year in a bit of a fog - both in my physical body and in my heart. Lots of questions still unanswered. And very little feeling new and fresh.
Sitting on my therapist's couch this week, I recounted all that has happened in my heart, mind and soul in the past 2 weeks and I heard the words "I no longer feel stuck" come out of my mouth. And as I said it, something almost instantly felt lighter. HOPEFUL. Dare I say new. Like the things I had expected to experience in those first few weeks of January have finally come, albeit like 40ish days late.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the season spans 2 calendar years. For us in the Northern Hemisphere, that is winter - but in looking at other geographic places and "seasons" - most (all?) do not coincide with the ending of the actual year (or even the ending of a month). Which is curious to me. For all the talk of new beginnings, we are actually very much still in a season when our calendar changes.
So what are we to make of that? Of the idea that the "brand new" calendar year does not automatically usher in a new season? I wonder if it might be the fact that there comes a point within the current "season" we are in to take a new posture. To sort of draw a line in the sand and to say - that was before and this is now.
You don't have to wait for the season to change to experience a fresh outlook
I can make a choice to do winter differently because spoiler alert we are in fact, still in winter (at least in the Pacific Northwest). While the sun has come a bit, it has not brought warmth and I imagine there will be more dark days ahead - literally and figuratively.
I think so often we are waiting for the season to change. Especially when we are struggling with the current one. And there can be things we expect will usher that in - like a new calendar year. But you see, I was expecting a season change when the reality was a different kind of change was happening. Very little of my actual circumstances are different right this minute than they were a few weeks ago. But just like that fresh, excited and resolute feeling that often comes with January 1st, something has taken place in my spirit.
And because of that, I get to take a hold of the rest of this season with a new purpose and vision. Rather than feeling discouraged that the season is the same - that circumstantially nothing is all that different, I can choose to not see it as one long continuation of the same. The season may not have changed, but I have changed in it. And for that I am grateful. So yes, I am still holding out for warmer and longer days ahead, I am no longer resentful that it's still winter.
Instead, I am recognizing that something new can occur within something that also appears unchanged.
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